Selecting an Agency or Attorney

Things to consider when selecting an agency or attorney:

Pre-placement counseling by a certified Birthmother Counselor

When choosing an agency or attorney, make it a priority to know who the birthmother counselor is, what qualifications she has, and whether or not she is also the adoptive parents’ counselor. Don’t find yourself in a situation where the "birthmother counselor" is really just a caseworker working for both you and the adopting parents. You should be given at least four counseling sessions with the counselor before you even look at parent profiles. In those sessions you should also be made aware of parenting options and resources. This counselor should make sure you have been made fully aware of parenting.

Full disclosure of legal processes and rights

When you are told about the adoption process and what rights you have, be assertive. Ask for documentation, copies of paperwork and, if working with an agency, always ask to speak with their representing attorney just to make sure you’ve received and understood all the information. Know your terms! Know what paperwork you will be required to sign, when you will have to sign it, and exactly what it means. Don’t be caught not knowing the most important aspects of your relinquishment process.

Access to all parent profiles

Most agencies and attorneys present you with no more than five profiles. This is because they have sorted through their waiting families based on your specific requests and are giving you those profiles they think will match. This is a great way to keep you from feeling overwhelmed, but there is also a catch. You may be seeing profiles that are not necessarily a "match" for you but rather are profiles that have higher priority with the agency or attorney than others. You may also find yourself in a biased situation. You should have total control over which profiles you see and how many. It is good to compare a broad variety of waiting families. Once you are ready to look at profiles we suggest you visit ParentProfiles.com (a service of Adoption Profiles. LLC), a large resource of online profiles. Even if you have an adoption agency or attorney, you still have every right to view waiting families from other sources. Waiting families on ParentProfiles.com are utilizing agencies and/or attorneys, and you may find severalwho areusing the same professional as you, that you were not shown.

Pre- and post-placement support group

You may not feel that you need a support group before or after your placement. Many birthmothers feel this way initially, yet many of these same birthmothers later regretted not taking advantage of it. Putting everything into place before your relinquishment doesn’t hurt anything. It is better to have it available, even if you don’t need it at the present time, rather than not having it when you need it. Another sign of a good agency or attorney who really cares about its clients is that they do in fact have support groups in place, or have recommendations. Ask them who runs the groups, how often they meet, who attends the groups, how long they have been running, and what the average length is. Also, ask them what materials are used in their support groups. The books they use are also a sign of how much they know about what you are going through, and how much they care about your emotional health.

Medical Expenses Paid

You may be asked to apply for state or county medical assistance if you do not have medical insurance yourself or through your parents. If so, before you do this you must realize that you will not be receiving the type of medical attention that you would if you were not on assistance. Know that you do not have to be on this assistance. You have every right to receive privately funded medical care in any of the hospitals/doctors’ offices of your choice. The reason you may be asked to apply for this medical assistance is to save the adopting family money. While adoption is costly, don’t risk your health to save them money. You also want the best that is available, especially when it is time to deliver. You deserve a nice delivery room with a good staff and all the benefits that come to new mothers. Get all of your medical agreements in writing. Make sure you’ve made arrangements to have not only all of your prenatal care paid for, but the delivery and post-delivery expenses as well. Vitamins, prescriptions, check ups, and payment for any unforeseen medical expenses due to your delivery and physical recovery after your hospital stay should also be included.

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