Pre-Placement Journaling
It’s a great idea to give your baby the gift of information about you, the birthfather and your extended families. Most adopted children create their own fantasies about their birthparents, about why they were given up for adoption, about whether they were lovingly placed or callously abandoned. Instead of imagining things about his or her birthparents, your child will be able to look at your pictures and read your letters about your backgrounds, your pregnancy, and why you made the decision to place your baby for adoption. Include as much personal information as you like, including:
- Several pictures of yourself at various ages, as well as pictures of the birthfather (if you still have contact). Include a photo of yourself while you are pregnant, too.
- A letter to your child. Remember that the adoptive parents may read this to their child at a young age, so write accordingly. You wouldn’t want to upset your child with upsetting information or too much anger toward the birthfather or others.
- A medical history for both your family and the birthfather’s family, if possible.
- A list of special talents or interests for you, the birthfather and your families.
- A special poem or prayer.
Writing in a journal can be a great way of releasing feelings and working through decisions, as well as keeping a record of a major event in your life. A journal that you keep through your pregnancy may one day be a wonderful gift to the child you are placing for adoption. Here are some things you may want to include:
- Use your journal to help you make the choice to parent your child alone or with the birthfather, or to place the baby for adoption. Putting your options in writing may help you explore the different viewpoints of each decision.
- Write about your dreams for your own life, including possible plans for your education and career.
- Include information about the birth father. You may still have a close relationship with him, or you may be separated from him at this time and are feeling deserted, sad or angry. Of course, you will want to write about these feelings in your journal. However, for the benefit of your child, who may someday read your words, try to express in your journal some of the birthfather’s good traits and give any details about him, his childhood, and his family and their medical history that you know.
- Because your child may one day need medical information about you and your family also, include a family tree in your journal along with details of any illnesses or medical disorders of various family members.
- Your child will be curious about the kind of person you are and what you look like, so write down some of your favorite memories of childhood, and then include a few pictures of yourself and your family, plus a photograph of you when you are pregnant.
- In your journal you may also want to include your prayers, dreams and hopes for your child. Explain your decision to make an adoption plan and why you feel that this is the best decision for everyone.
- If you have selected the adoptive parents, write about your reasons for choosing this couple. Write about what you like about them and why you feel that they are the best parents to raise your child.
Credits: Sources: "Adoption Decisions" and "Making a Scrapbook for my Baby"
